so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
