I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Fuck appropriateness.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
