Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
