I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
