And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
