dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
