dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
