When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
