Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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