I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Randomize
