well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
