She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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