Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
