She said her name was "party"
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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