thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
you would pick up someone in the library
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize