im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
