yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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