This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Are we still banned from the library?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
