I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
