don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
they're like a gay fantastic four
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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