I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
