i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize