It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
