Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Randomize
