Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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