i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
