STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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