Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
