mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
