Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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