So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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