the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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