Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i drank out of a bidet.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
