Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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