I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I love having hate sex.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
