Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
