Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize