she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
