Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I had to cum in my sink.
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