Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
