Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
