I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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