Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize
