you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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