it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
