We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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