he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I'm passing your future prison.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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