You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
