I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
he was CRYING into my vagina
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
