Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize