u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
