I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
