Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Are we still banned from the library?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
