what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
