Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
