I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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