i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
