Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
