To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
