You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
