So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
