hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
The beer is more important than you right now.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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